Month 1

They say when your having a baby it doesn't seem real until you are actually holding it in your arms.  Well, that is true, but it becomes even more real when you walk into your home with a baby and you're in your own environment,  when you use your own changing table for the first time,  put your sweet one in the bouncy seat, and then most of all trying to figure what is wrong  with no nurse button to push!!!
  
There were lots and lots of ups and downs for the first few weeks.  I have never ever experienced exhaustion like that.  It is like your not even sure who you are any more.  It feels like all you do is rock, nurse and change diapers all day long.

I had Audrey on a Wednesday, came home on a Friday, and Jonathan was back to work that Monday.  I remember one day he came home and found me in tears on the couch.  He sat down beside me and asked me what was wrong.  I said I feel like a terrible mother!!  All I ever wanted was to be a mom, I had looked forward to this for so long, but I just don't like her!  How can a mother not even like her own baby!!  Don't get me wrong I loved Audrey with all of my heart, but I felt like all she was doing was taking from me.  Jonathan just laughed at me.  He was so sweet with the hormonal roller coaster that I was on for weeks.  He just told me that it was okay, that I was a great mom and that I it would get better.

He was right... the next day he came in and I told him that I liked her for 50% of the day, and the next day was 75%.  Then finally one day he came home and I met him at the door and threw my arms around him and told him that I like her for 100% of the day!!!

This difficulty was something that I did not know to expect.  I knew about postpartum depression and that you would be on a hormonal roller coaster, but I just thought about the extremes, not about the little things like its okay not to like you baby sometimes, that you would literally cry over anything (once again, I'm not one to cry I hate crying so this was all new to me), going from mad to happy to sad all in a millisecond.  I never ever thought about hurting Audrey or leaving her.  Plus, it was just the fact that I didn't know what to do, and at first all she did was sleep and I didn't get any rewards for all that I did and sacrificed for her.  (Maybe this is training for the teenage years :)  )

The first month wasn't all bad, don't get me wrong... I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything. These were just part of the hardest weeks. So enough of the bad stuff... here are the fun parts of this first month

- She was eating every three hours
- Starting to stay awake for longer periods of time
- Moved to her own room at 2 weeks
- Tried to drink out of a bottle
-Started to hold your head up on your own
- Went to a fall Carnival
- Grandpa and Granna came to stay 
- Went to El Dorado for Thanksgiving

It was amazing how long I could watch her sleep. 

I think we have a million pictures of just her sleeping :)

For the first several days she loved to be swadelded. But then

started sleeping like this and never liked being confined again.

Our little pumpkin!

Playing her first carnival game

Grandpa and Granna

Audrey,
Even though mommy had a hard time adjusting to being a mommy, I loved you from the first moment you were in my arms.  I'm so glad that I had the bad times, because without them I wouldn't have the good times!! You are so precious to me and your daddy! We can't wait to watch you grow and look forward to every new stage that we enter!!

Love you so!

Mommy

Growing like a weed

Audrey has accomplished so much this past week. 

One
Jonathan and I went away this weekend and left Audrey with a sitter. (I'll go into more detail about our trip in another post, I'm waiting on pictures).  It was time for Audrey to have a few nights without us.  I do have to say that I was nervous all day Friday thinking about being gone and leaving her, but once our sitter got here they all went away.  Audrey seemed very excited and didn't cry when I left.  I think that was my saving grace to see her laughing and in a great mood as we were walking out the door.  She had a great time.  She didn't seem to miss us, which I'm so fine with, and she was actually excited to see me when I came back. So, Audrey spent two night away from us!!

Two.
She has been on the verge of crawling for about 3 weeks now.  I tell you, it is absolutely amazing how far she can move across our living room, but not be crawling. She has been getting up on all fours and rocking back and forth. Then when she wants to move she falls down on her belly and just kicks her feet.  It is so cute to see.   I told Jonathan that since we were going to be gone she would start crawling.  Well last night I sat her down on the floor to play and sure enough she got up on all fours and crawled for a little bit. Needless to say, my life as I now know it is about to change!!

Three.
Audrey has been sitting up by herself for quite a while now.  She still has a tendency to fall back when she is really upset (I think she is just being dramatic like her mother :)  ). Well on Thursday she was sitting on the floor and turned to face me.  She put her hands in mine and pulled herself up into a standing position.  I couldn't believe it. I  did it several more times just to make sure I wasn't helping her, that she was using all of her own strength.  I couldn't wait for Jonathan to get home and show him. He comes in and I say "Look".  Well of course he says "your helping her".  He can be so encouraging sometimes :)  I told him no really she is doing this by herself, you try.  So I hand her to him and sure enough she did the same thing.

Well the next day I had her sitting on a floor mat that she has. It has these rods above her so that she can play with the dangling toys.  Well, now that she has been sitting, she plays with them sitting up.  I was sitting behind her, she had grabbed two toys on each side and was trying to pull herself up again by herself.  Well these rods are not built for this so it started to tip over, but she kept trying to stand up.

This morning she wakes up and I hear her playing in her crib. She usually starts to stir about 7:30ish, but I let her play by herself and sometimes she just falls back asleep, and so does mommy :)  Well this morning she woke up and was starting to make her "I'm ready to get up now" cry.  So, I walk in her room and low and behold, she is sitting up in her crib.  I couldn't believe it.  She just smiled up at me and when I got closer, she grabbed one of the rails and proceeded to start to try and pull herself up!! Needless to say Daddy is going to be lowering the mattress in her crib tonight!!

The Delivery

Well the special day was scheduled for October 21, 2009.  The night before, some girlfriends of mine took me out to eat at Ya Ya's which is a very fancy euro-bistro.  I had such a great time enjoying my last night before parenthood.

It was so nice having the delivery scheduled. I was able to have everything packed and ready to go the night before.  Here is my last picture being pregnant with Audrey!!

Ughh its hard to believe I was that big!!!

Jonathan and I went to bed very early that night.  We had to be at the hospital at 6:00am.  I don't think I slept at all that night.  I was way too excited to sleep!!  I finally got tired of laying in the bed at 4:30am and decided to get up and shower.  I wanted to make sure my hair was done and had make-up on ;).  I didn't want to look like the living-dead in pictures that could potentially haunt me the rest of my life.

We got to the hospital, checked in, and they had me hooked up to the pitocin by 6:30am.  The nurse that hooked me up to the fetal monitor said that I was already having contractions before they even started my IV.  I was shocked because I couldn't even feel them. After that, I was just waiting for my OB to come by reading magazines and talking to Jonathan

My family consisting of Mom, Dad, sister, grandparents, and my Aunt, showed up to the hospital around 7:30-8:00am.  While waiting on the doc, I really didn't feel a whole lot as far as contractions go.  Sometimes I could tell that I was having one, but other times I couldn't.

The doctor came by around 9ish to check on me.  He broke my water and told me that I should really start feeling contractions. He said that I could get the epidural whenever I wanted .  I felt like I lost 15lbs after he broke my water. I finally felt like I had room to breathe. Then the contractions really started to pick up, and I asked the nurse to go ahead and get my epidural.

A few hours later, around lunch, the nurse came in and said that Audrey's heart rate was dropping and that I needed oxygen and to lay on my side. This helped for a little while, but the doc came in and said that if it kept dropping like it was then we might have to do a c-section.  I told them that I was willing to do whatever.  Jonathan sent a text out to our family and friends to pray that things would continue to go smoothly. I was still only dilated to a 5 and the nurse said that it could still be a while which made us a little nervous because of the stress Audrey was starting to feel.

I hated the oxygen mask.  I felt like I was suffocating wearing it, which is completely impossible since I'm actually getting more oxygen. I kept giving Jonathan a hard time saying "I can't breathe in this mask!". He would just laugh at me, explain the science behind how it was better breathing than before, and continued to make fun of my claustrophobia.

I took a little nap and just tried to rest up before all the work really started. About an hour later I started to really start feeling the contractions. I told the nurse and she checked me and said "Wow you are a 9! I'll come back in 30 min and start setting up.  I had just jumped from a 5 to a 9 in less than an hour and it all started to really sink in. I really started to freak out then.  I was scared that I wouldn't know what to do, that the pain would be too much for me to handle, that I was about to become a mother, all of the crazy feelings came over me and I just panicked.  I asked Jonathan to update my family that we were about to start getting busy and to also bring my mom back. She really helped encourage me and told me I would be fine! You never get to old to need your mom sometimes!! We had a really great talk, and I needed her encouragement.

At  2:00pm the nurses came in and started getting everything together. The doctor showed up around 2:30pm.  I pushed for 22 minutes. Jonathan was really trying to be as sweet and helpful as possible, but he had no idea what he was doing or what I was needing. It seemed like he was yelling in my ear, "You're doing great, Magen. You're almost there!". I couldn't take it anymore and told him to "SHUT UP!" The nurses tried to hide their laughter while I told him to talk quieter and back off of all the encouragement.

And at 2:50pm Audrey Elizabeth Friedmann entered this world at 6lb 14oz and 19.75in.

I could not have asked for an easier delivery.  God really answered our prayers in giving us a beautiful little girl who is perfect in every way.  Jonathan and I are so blessed to have such great family and friends.

The rest of our visit was comfortable. We had other visitors from Jonathan's work and our church. However, there were about 4 times when there was a deafening grinding noise ringing through our room. It sounded like someone was using a jack-hammer in the room above us. I'm sure there's never a good time to do that kind of work in a hospital, but I'm glad it didn't last too long.

Below are some more of my favorite pictures of our stay and us going home.

Pool Day

Saturday some friends of ours, Damon and Lindsey, invited us to their neighborhood pool. We arrived at the pool about 10:30.  We had such a great time and Audrey did GREAT.

Before we left I lathered her up with sunscreen. She is so fair that I didn't want to chance her getting burned.  It would have been miserable for all parties involved I do believe.

At first Audrey wasn't to sure about the water.  It was a little cooler than the warm bath water she was used to :).  Eventually she warmed up to it and really enjoyed it.  She was kicking her feet and splashing.  We didn't stay too long out in the sun.  When we got out she loved watching the other kids in the pool, especially when someone jumped off the diving board and made a big splash.

                                                                            (nap time)

                                                                               (twins)

When we got back home Audrey went down for a nap. I had to go in and wake her up at 6:00.  I really think she would have slept all night!!  Needless to say we had a very successful pool day!! 



On a side note Audrey has finally as of Friday cut her very first tooth.  Jonathan was actually able to get a picture of it. Since then Audrey has been in such a better mood, which Mommy is so grateful for!!! If you look close (very close) you can see on center right side there is a little tooth poking through

Until next time....

Craft Projects

When I was younger I took several sewing classes during the summer.  We would usually make our own shorts and then paint a shirt to match. I LOVED it!! Since then I have always wanted to get into sewing, but never had the time or the courage to do it. 

When we were setting up Audrey's room, we were looking for a glider but didn't want to spend $500 on it. My aunt mentioned this place that gets shipments of furniture from dept. stores that are damaged in some way for cheap and then sells them for a lot less. We found a glider that was perfect, but it had been totally stripped of its upholstery.  I wanted something that wasn't a huge monstrosity but something that I would be able to sleep in. I also wanted a glider not a rocker, and I wanted it to swivel.   I was very leery about buying it because paying some one to reupholster it could be really expensive. We were going back and forth and Jonathan suggested that I just do it.  WHAT?!?  Are you kidding me?? Me, reupholster a chair!!!

Well he ended up talking me into it. Picking out the material and getting the supplies together was a lot of fun, but getting started was a whole other story.  I think it took me several days of walking by it to actually start it.  Here is the before...

and the after

It took me 4 days to do it. I think it turned out GREAT!! I was really surprised to see how easy it actually turned out to be.

After accomplishing this project it gave me more confidence in my sewing skills. Since then, I have hemmed my own pants and even hemmed the curtains for our living room.

Well my most recent project I did yesterday.  I have been looking at "Hooter Hiders" (yes, that is the brand name for a nursing cover), but I just couldn't let myself pay $35 for something that looked so simple.  I googled how to make one and found this blog: http://littlebirdiesecrets.blogspot.com . she has all kinds of other crafts as well. I went to Hobby Lobby and purchased all of my supplies and yesterday I set out to make my own "Hooter Hider."

Don't you just love the fabric?!?  I was so pleased with my final product!!  I plan on next trying to make Audrey an outfit (we will see how that goes).   I also found a very cute purse online with the pattern and everything.

I'll be sure and keep you updated on any other projects.

Sweet Husband

Yes, I know I'm doing 2 blogs in one day, but I have a lot of making up to do :)

Jonathan and I had a great anniversary.  Audrey and I went and ate lunch with him at work.  We try and do that from time to time (sometimes just so I can get out of the house), but today just to make it special.  Jonathan then informed me that he was planning our dinner and not to do anything!

He came home from work with groceries and I was told not to touch.  So while I was feeding Audrey he cooked supper. He did such a great job!!

We started out with my favorite, hummus and crackers.  It was a great appetizer while we waited for the grill to heat up.  The main course was grilled pork steaks and pasta salad!!  It was oh so good, but the best part was that I didn't cook :)  Audrey started getting fussy so I told Jonathan that I would gladly do the dishes if he would give her a bath. 

After we put her to bed Jonathan brought out dessert. A grapefruit with a little bit of sugar sprinkled on top.  It was just the right thing for a hot summer day.  Very light and healthy!! I will be doing that again.

By doing this Jonathan proved that he can cook other things besides shake and back and mac and cheese.  Little does he know he was worked himself into cooking on a more regular basis.  ;)

I'll end with a picture of how Audrey enjoys sitting in her high-chair. She loves to prop that foot up. We haven't quite grasped table manners yet :)

From the Beginning

I had a pretty easy pregnancy with Audrey.  The only problem that I had was I was diagnosed with PUPPS which is a rash that only 1% of women get when their pregnant, and I just happened to be that 1%. The only way to get rid of the rash is to have the baby.  I thought at first we had fleas or something in our house because I kept getting these little red bumps all over my legs.

It then turned into this really bad rash, so at my next appointment I showed the doc and he told me to put caladryl on it.  So I went home and did that.  Let me tell you being 8 months pregnant in September with this horrible rash is no fun at all.

Well the rash continued to get worse and worse. One day I tried calling my doc because I was at my wits end. I just couldn't take it any more.  For some reason I couldn't get through to the office.  So I got in my car (which did not have AC)  and drove there.  I walked in crying (and if you know me I don't cry especially in front of strangers).  I told the nurse that I hated to come in like this but I was miserable and needed some help. She was so so so nice and I was back in a room in 10 minutes.  I guess there must be something to being big and pregnant and crying that people are willing to do whatever :)

My OB made me an appointment with a dermatologist for the next week.  He said that I had PUPPS  and then he informed me... are you ready for this.... that I was allergic to the caladryl!!!  So, just FYI  most people are allergic to benadryl cream, it is okay to take by mouth, but the cream can cause an allergic reaction. Yes, I was making this rash worse. I must have looked horrible because the sweet man took my hand and said that I would have had no idea and that this wasn't my fault.  He then gave me a steroid cream ( best thing ever). Here is a few shots of my horrible rash....

The last 6 weeks I kept cold packs on my arms and legs 24/7 and stayed in this constant state of drowsiness cause of all the benadryl that I was taking. I would get up at 2am to change out my cold packs. I told myself this was preparing me for 2am feedings.  Also, I actually enjoyed taking cold showers.  How crazy is that.

The best part about all of this deals with Jonathan. He was so nice to me and tried so hard to be understanding, but he just didn't know what to do.  One afternoon he came up to me and showed me these red bumps on his stomach and asked me if he had PUPPS too! I laughed so hard and said no that it was poison ivy.  He was so miserable ( I have to say that I was so glad that he had it) but he was able to get a steroid shot and it took it away really fast.  Lets just say after that he was even more nice!!  After suffering with his rash for a couple of days he had a whole new respect for me and my rash. 

Since I had this my doc said that if everything was going well that I could induce 2 weeks early. We scheduled it for October 21st. Let me tell you that day could not come fast enough!!!  I didn't want to rush a delivery, just because I was miserable because I wanted Audrey to be healthy, but it was really starting to get bad. 

Stay tuned for the next update on the delivery!!

Celebrating 3 Years

Well today is our 3 year anniversary.  Wow how fast can three years go by, especially this year. 

Jonathan, thank you so much for being even more than I could ask for in a husband.

- I love how much we have learned about each other and am looking forward to learning even more!

- I love how I still get butterflies by just thinking about you

- I love watching you interact with Audrey and watching you be a GREAT dad.

- I love how you are always working at being the best husband

- I love that you stand by me no matter what

- I love how you know just what to say to make me feel better

- I love our story and all the memories that we have

- I love how you go to work every day so I can be at home to take care of our daughter

- I love how you never complain about having to go to work

- But most of all I love that I get to spend many more years with you!!

Love Love...... :)